Hogwarts Watches Harry Potter In 99 Seconds
by Lord Periwinkle
Summary: The entire Great Hall plus Amelia Bones and the Minister watch Paint's 'Harry Potter in 99 seconds! This is not a part of my other Harry Potter story. Rights for 'Harry Potter in 99 seconds' go to Paint, and rights for Harry Potter go to J.K. Rowling. *two-shot*
1. Harry Potter In 99 Seconds

*Bold italics is singing, bold is talking in the video(wow, one line!) and the video belongs to Paint, Harry Potter to J.K. Rowling.*  
It was lunchtime on a cold winter day, in fact, it was the last day before the Christmas holidays. Professor Umbridge was absent from the Great Hall, and Harry, who'd noticed almost immediately, was enjoying a break from the toad-like teacher glaring holes in the side of his head. Suddenly, the oak double doors at the end of the hall burst open, revealing none other then Dolores Umbridge, who was accompanied by the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, and Amelia Bones, the witch with the monocle from Harry's hearing.  
Groaning slightly at the sight of Fudge, he turned back to his lunch, only to look up about sixty seconds later when Fudge cast a voice magnification spell. "Students and Staff of Hogwarts, it has come to the attention of the Ministry that the lies surrounding He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's supposed 'return'."  
At this Harry rolled his eyes. It wasn't anything new.  
"A video has come to light that summarizes Potter's years at Hogwarts, and I can say with absolute certainty that it will prove the truth." Fudge quickly said the counter-spell and turned to Amelia. She took out what Harry recognized as a laptop and muttered_ "Engorgio."_ The screen swelled to the size of the wall and attached itself. With a wave of Umbridge's wand, the video began playing.

**_There once was a boy named Harry, destined to be a star. _**  
Harry glared at the table. He didn't _want_ to be famous, especially because of his parents' _deaths!_ If only people could realize that...  
**_His parents were killed by Voldemort, who gave him a lightning scar..._**  
Harry's hand flew to his forehead automatically as people stared at him, his fingers desperately trying to flatten the hair over his scar.  
**Yo, Harry, you a wizard!**  
"What?" said boy asked, shocked. "That's not even what happened! What actually happened was much more entertaining."  
**_Harry goes to Hogwarts, he meets Ron and Hermione, McGonagall requires he play for Gryffindor. Draco is a daddy's boy,_**  
Malfoy glared at the screen as most people laughed at him. How _dare _they? Wait until his father heard about this!  
**_Quirrell becomes unemployed, _**  
Ron snorted. "That's one way to put it." Hermione smacked his head, ignoring his cry of: "Ow! What was that for?"  
"Hermione, you know what happened to Quirrell," Harry chose his words carefully, eager to avoid being hit like Ron. "And you've got to admit, that _is _putting it lightly."  
**_the Sorcerer's Stone is destroyed by Dumbledore._**  
"The what?" asked a curious Hufflepuff who hadn't seen Harry and Ron motioning for him to stop silently behind Hermione's back.  
To their dismay, the long winded answer came despite their efforts. "The Sorcerer's Stone was a stone that produced the Elixir of Life and could turn any metal into solid gold. The drinker if the Elixir of Life would become immortal so long as they kept drinking it.  
**_Ron breaks his wand, now Ginny's gone, and Harry is in mortal danger, Tom Riddle hides his snake inside his ginormous secret chamber._**  
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and everyone who had been petrified winced at the reminder of the basilisk and the Chamber of Secrets.  
**_Harry blows up Aunt Marge, _**  
Harry and Ron snickered as Hermione rolled her eyes, trying not to smile.  
**_the dementors come and take charge, Lupin is a wolf, the rat's a man, and now the prisoner is at large. They use time travel so they can save the prisoner of Azkaban,_**  
"Did you now?" smirked Fudge. "Well, this shall be put to use later, until we finish the video you will not be arrested."  
Hermione looked almost sick with anxiety at this declaration. Harry and Ron knew that there really was no case against them, but that didn't stop that latter from worrying a bit.  
**_who just so happens to be Harry's godfather. I don't really get it either... Harry gets put in the Triwizard Tournament _**  
Harry flinched. Memories of the third task wanted to burst forward, be he pushed them down. It was bad enough reliving them at night, without having to do it by day too.  
**_with dragons and mermaids. Oh, no! Edward Cullen gets slayed,_**  
"Who?"  
"He's a Muggle actor who looked a lot like Cedric." said a Twilight fan from Ravenclaw. (A/N I know, it doesn't go with the time period or canon, but just go with it.)  
**_he's back. Harry, Harry, it's getting scary. Voldemort is back_**  
"Lies!" bellowed Fudge.  
Amelia resisted rolling her eyes. She had never believed that the boy was lying, why would he lie about something as big as Voldemort? "Minister, you said it yourself this is all true. Voldemort is back, and you need to accept that so we can start protecting the Wizarding World."  
Fudge knew that he would be forced to resign though. He had ignored the facts and the truth that was right in front of him. Not to mention what he'd done to the boy. He'd ruined his reputation, made him a subject of ridicule for thousands of people!  
People who hadn't believed Harry were either acting indifferent(most Slytherins) or planning how to apologies for thinking he was a liar.  
**_and now you're a revolutionary Harry. Dumbledore, Dumbledore, why is he ignoring your constant attempts to contact him?_**  
Harry tried and failed to catch Dumbledore's eye again. _I don't know,_ he thought miserably.  
Others were looking at Dumbledore in confusion. Wasn't Potter his favorite? Why was he ignoring him?  
Dumbledore himself sighed. He was only trying to protect Harry.  
**_He is forced to leave the school, Umbridge arrives,_**  
The toad smiled. _And as soon as that old man is out of the way, my reign of perfection will start._  
**_Draco's a tool. _**  
Malfoy scowled again. Oh, when his father heard about this...  
Harry snorted. "That I can believe."  
**_Kids break into the Ministry, _**  
Amelia raised her eyebrow. If children could break into the Ministry they should up the security, especially now that they knew for sure that Voldemort was back.  
**_Sirius Black is dead as can be!_**  
Ron and Hermione whipped around in their seats to face Harry, shock sprawled across their features. The raven haired boy was sitting with a look of shock and horror on his face. The video had been paused, and everyone was talking, not paying any attention to the Trio for once.  
"Harry, are you ok?" whispered Hermione.  
Harry laughed bitterly. "Of course, I'm fine. It's not like I've just heard that one of the only adults I trust is going to die!" He then sighed. "I'm sorry Hermione, I shouldn't take it out on you. I just can't believe that he'll just be...gone."  
Ron looked at Harry, whose eyes were watering slightly. He couldn't say he understood, but he knew that Harry had just been told he was going to loose another person in his life that he loved. How many people was Harry going to have to loose? "Mate, this hasn't happened yet. We can change it, make sure it never happens." Harry looked at Ron gratefully, and he was glad that he'd been able to offer a small bit of comfort to Harry.  
**_Oh! Split your soul, seven parts of a whole, they're Horcruxes, _**  
Dumbledore and others who knew looked at each other. Oh, why must it always be Harry? He was such a good boy, and despite his numerous struggles he had managed to stay innocent, though he didn't know it.  
**_it's Dumbledore's end..._**  
"No!"  
"Dumbledore can't die!"  
"How the-?"  
Harry heard all of these comments, but they were oddly distorted. He forced himself to be calm, he could grieve later, when he wasn't in the presence of the entire school.  
**_There once was a boy named Harry who constantly conquered death. But in one final duel between good and bad, he may take his final breath._**  
It was too much. While everyone around him exploded into talk, he got up from the Gryffindor table and walked slowly out of the Great Hall, searching for a quiet place in which he could be alone.  
When Dumbledore finally managed to gain control over the people in the Great Hall again, he immediately realized that Harry was not sitting next to Ron at the end of the table. "Where did Mr. Potter go?" he spoke directly to the two Gryffindors who looked around and finally noticed his absence.  
"I don't know!" whimpered Hermione.  
"He must have slipped out to be alone," muttered Ron. "We have to find him before he does something stupid. Come on," he said, jumping to his feet. Hermione quickly followed and they left the Great Hall together in search of Harry. They were quickly joined by Fred, George, and Ginny Weasley, and surprisingly, Neville and Luna.


	2. After

In the end, it wasn't Ron or Hermione who found him. It wasn't Ginny, Fred, George, or Neville. It was Luna. He was sitting in the birch tree at the edge of the Black Lake, staring out over the water. Luna, for once absent of her usual dreamy expression, walked down to the tree. "Harry?" she called.  
"Oh," he looked down at her from between the branches of the tree, another tear joining the mixture of the others on it's way down his face. "Hi, Luna."  
Luna sighed, her serious and slightly sad expression looking out of place on the usually bubbly girl. She focused on Harry, taking in his small frame shaking slightly in the cold. "You know, Harry, I understand what you're going through. When I was little, I lost my mum in a potions accident. She quite liked experimenting, and..." she trailed off, focusing on the Giant Squid's tentacle waving at her from the icy water. "And I know it's hard, but they're not gone yet. You can stop them from dying, you know. And when they do go, they're never really gone. " Luna shivered.  
Harry climbed down out of the birch tree, wiping his face with his hand. "Thanks Luna." He wrapped his arms around himself and waved a hand towards the castle. "We should probably get back up there."  
Luna nodded, her dreamy expression returning. They walked up to the doors in silence, save for Luna's humming. Harry went straight to his dormitory where Ron and Hermione were waiting for him. They stayed there for the rest of the day, laughing and joking until they all fell asleep.

In the next few months, there were very many changes in the Wizarding world.  
First and foremost, Sirius Black came to Harry, Ron, and Hermione's trial on helping him escape to give his side of the story. Umbridge tried to have him Kissed right then and there, but Amelia Bones kept her in line. The four were cleared of all charges after Sirius was given Veritaserum. He was awarded 25,000 Galleons for being wrongly forced into Azkaban for twelve years. Peter Pettigrew was put on posters all over the Wizarding world, a 5,000 Galleon reword over his head. Harry moved in with Sirius at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.  
Harry was awarded 10,000 Galleons for his reputation being publicly destroyed and becoming an object of wrongful public loathing. Harry immediately forced the Weasleys to take the reword money, as he neither wanted or needed it.  
Fudge was sacked and Kingsley took charge of the Ministry, Amelia Bones as his new Senior Undersecretary. Umbridge was fired and put on charge for using a blood quill on many students and on Harry for over a month when the Ministry received an anonymous tip. She received 10 years in Azkaban and died 8 years into her sentence.  
Voldemort cam to an early demise in Harry's sixth year. Sirius, Dumbledore, Fred, Tonks, Remus, and many others survived to live out their lives. Ron and Hermione got together in the middle of their seventh year, Harry and Ginny at the end of his sixth. Both couples were happily wed and lived peaceful lives after Voldemort's death.  
Fin.


End file.
